It was about time I bought a car, I thought, so I bought a Ford Escort Automatic, a white one, only thing was I neglected to take a driving test or tax and insure it. One day I was driving Mandy to work in Brentford, we were going along the Goldhawk Rd, Shepherds Bush when I glanced in my rear view window, following close behind was a police car, I figured that if I started doing left and right turns that this may just raise a few suspicions with them, so I carried straight on, the next set of traffic lights were red so I naturally stopped, as they changed I saw the police flashing there lights at me, I figured they were not thanking me in the well known motorist fashion, no indeed, they were not happy. They pulled me over and I was greeted by a police sergeant whilst a young fresh faced cadet went to talk to Mandy, he asked my name, I replied Paul Stevens, he asked my address, I replied 46 Sullivan Ct, he asked me a whole bunch of other questions and then went to confer with the cadet, I could see them comparing notes, the sergeant walked back over to me and asked me did I have a middle name or an alias, I tumbled straight away that Mandy had given my real name and she had heard Sulivan Court mentioned and gave my parents door number 48 to the cadet, what I replied in my opinion was pure genius, " I know whats happened " "she has given you the name Paul Allen at 48 Sulivan Court" " you see I am married and I am trying to give her one ". Well blow me down if the sergeant goes and pats me on the shoulder and exclaims " I understand son" so I pushed my luck and asked why he stopped me "get a tax disc son". I got back in the car telling Mandy to just look straight ahead, I pulled away and the police car turned around and drove off, Mandy asked me what I had said, when I told her she was not too happy, but I still laugh at this and I still think it was pure genius.
My wife's Auntie Ruby is a typical elderly London woman, her language can be flowery to say the least, but you will not meet a nicer more generous person, we used to take Ruby to Macro in Park Royal and she would treat us to lunch in the restaurant, she ran a luncheon club for the local senior citizens and I am sure she never really realised that she was older than a lot of the punters. She also owned a caravan in Leysdown on the Isle of Sheppy in Kent. We all used to go there for weekends, it was whilst we were there that I met a bloke named Kenny Abrahams, Ken's daughter had married Ruby's son. He worked as a Residential Housing Caretaker for the London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham (LBHF), he suggested that I apply to become a Caretaker as they were recruiting new staff, I honestly thought that you had to have been in the service's and that I would have no chance, but Ken talked me into it and you know what I only went and got an interview. I turned up and met the man conducting the interview, it soon became apparent that Ken had put a word in and I became a Residential Housing Caretaker.
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